


Pride

by Dr_Rigatoni



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Gen, Trans!Nick, mentions of transphobia, this fic means a lot to me lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Rigatoni/pseuds/Dr_Rigatoni
Summary: Nick thinks back upon his journey to discovering himself
Kudos: 6





	Pride

Ally knew she liked girls. Girls were just so pretty and nice. She had told Carrie first. She always told Carrie everything first. She told her about the first tooth she lost, her first time getting grounded, her first period. Carrie was giddy, happily confiding that she liked girls too. She told her family in sixth grade, and they were supportive. Of course, they were. Her dads had faced the same struggles of being gay. It was the happiest Ally had ever been. She was able to come home and talk about 'the pretty girl she saw today'.  
Sleepovers with Carrie and Kayla were the best. They would get together and paint each other's nails and talk about girls. Kayla had known she liked girls since she was little. Her mom's being especially encouraging when she had come home from her first day of kindergarten saying she had a girlfriend. It was easy to feel accepted when everyone around you was like you. Her family and friends taught her to be proud of who she was.  
The summer before seventh grade was when Carrie and Ally started dating. They had both gone to Kayla about their crushes; it was the first time that the other was the first person they told. Kayla had gotten tired of the ‘do you think she likes me’s and had pushed them together. It was awkward and clumsy and everything you would expect out of a couple of middle schoolers. Dates consisted of Carrie coming over to eat supper with her and her dads. They grew into their relationship though. They both had their first kiss in Ally’s bedroom. They had become quite the power couple. It was comfortable between them. The two already said I love you before they were dating, they had known each other since kindergarten, so making the jump to saying it in the relationship wasn’t all that difficult.   
It was around the end of seventh grade that Ally started to feel different. The girls around her were going through puberty and it made her realize she didn't want that for herself. She didn't know what she wanted but that wasn't it. Ally thought a lot about what she was feeling. She was confused and scared. One day Carrie came to her with something that would change her life. She had been doing some research. She didn’t like that her girlfriend was upset.   
“I think you might be transgender.”   
It clicked. Months of questioning and inner turmoil dissolved. She was a boy. He was a boy.  
Nick knew that he was a boy. It all made so much more sense. He couldn't exactly explain what it felt like. The closest thing was it was as if he had switched bodies with a girl and somewhere out there his boy body was missing. Carrie stayed with him.   
“I love you. Nothing’s going to change that.”  
Coming out to his dads was different. It was harder than coming out as a lesbian because he didn’t know that his dads were accepting of transgender people. Chad and Ryan had faced the struggles of unsupportive parents, so even if they knew nothing about being transgender, they were still going to love their son.   
It was a long journey filled with 'are you sure's from every person possible. The doctor, his dads' friends, even some of his friends. He was sure. Nick had never been more sure of anything in his life. The time he had spent as Nick had been the most freeing time in his life, more so than when he had told his dads that he was gay. He truly felt himself. By the time he reached freshman year he was taking hormone therapy and had undergone several surgeries. He was able to start a new school where almost nobody knew about Ally.   
He knew it was coming. The breakup. They were fighting more and more. They were both different people than they were five years ago, and they had fallen out of love. It was neither of their faults. He knew why Carrie was so upset all the time, and he didn’t blame her. It just wasn't good for his mental health to be around her right now. He hated to say it but it was true. He was going through his own things, with worrying about what was going to happen to him if Trump won the election, and his feelings for Julie, who he knew Carrie was bitter with.   
He knew that Carrie had fallen in love with Kayla. He saw it in the way she looked at her. He saw it in all the hours spent with Dirty Candi. He wasn’t angry with her. She liked girls and it had been a while since he had been that. He loved Carrie, he still did, after everything. She was his best friend, and he hoped that they could be friends again.  
Nick was going through some of his old stuff from middle school, slowly adding a plethora of random items to his wardrobe. So far he had five headbands on, three scarves, two old, mismatched knee-high socks on his hands, and several Hello Kitty stickers on his face.   
He pulled out his old lesbian flag, remembering back to a time when he felt like it represented him. He chuckled; it seemed silly to think that now, but it had made him feel so powerful at the time, so accepted. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, remembering his struggles at school. He had told a friend about liking girls, one that he thought he could trust. She had outed him to the whole school. Most people didn't care, but there were a few that hated him for it, and they were awful to him. Their bullying had only gotten worse when he had started identifying as a boy.  
Of course, they weren't all bad memories. He remembered coming out to Carrie, to Kayla, to his dads. His dads were the ones who gave him the flag in the first place. He used to wear the flag around the house like a cape, shouting about being a hero for lesbians everywhere to anyone who would listen.  
He took down the flag that hung above his bed and hung up the lesbian flag before putting up the trans flag again over top of it. He refused to get rid of it. It held too many memories and it was a symbol of what he had gone through. He thought about all the rough patches he had faced. Still, they had made him into who he was today, and he was proud.


End file.
